Stars and Stripes Forever

I think, it is pretty safe to say, that as Americans we are raised to think that we are better than the rest of the world. We are the best and the brightest but with our recent economic woes, we are coming off more like Randy Quaid to the rest of the world's Dennis Quaid. Frank Stallone to their Sylvester. Damn it, we're Screech and everyone else is Bayside. Ugh.

When the hell did we become this?

So we aren't part of the "cool kids" group anymore because we're poor, so what! Who wanted to hang out with China and Russia anyways? Not us, they reek of bad teeth. That's right, I went there. We still look better than most of them. Sure, we aren't the Argentina's or the Sweden's of the world in terms of looks but we hold our own. Now, we know that there ain't nothing more American than having good teeth. Ask any Miss America judge and they'd agree.

--Here are some prime examples of patriotic teeth:

America's Dream Team from right to left: the ravishing Glenn Beck, the smoldering Ann Coulter and America's sweetheart Dick Cheney

--Now here are some prime examples on un-American types:

Romanian Gypsy teeth, although fancy looking, are probably turning the inside of her upper lip green.

Say "herro" to my to my toothy Thai friend.

All of India always remembered Gandhi's half brother for his quick wit and charm.

The winner of Cambodia's Next Top Model has done a lot to combat childhood obesity.

Don't be hatin' on this Haitian, y'all