Fuck You Sylvia Browne.

The Oracle of Delphi. Nostradamus. James Van Praagh. Rasputin. When the great psychic powers of the ages come to mind these are the ones that are typically thrown out there. And if you were to ask a certain Mr. Montel Williams, he would throw out the incomparable Sylvia. Sylvia Browne that is. She's the world's only psychic walrus that can chain smoke with acrylic nails glued to her flippers.

Will the real Sylvia Browne, please stand up?

Walter Mercado

Surpisingly has a penis.

The other day, I was Facebook stalking my friend Soraya and got to thinking of all the good times we used to have back in the day making fun of Sylvia Brown and Walter Mercado, a Univision astrologer known to most latinos that should know better. I can not for the life of me understand how the hell lunatics that look like Bruce Vilanch in drag and a Puerto Rican Liberace get into the mainstream like this? It may be safe to say that they both might be good at blow jobs. How else explain the television exec that let this happen? Because we all know that pie eating contest winners are known for their panache, their joie de vivre, not their psychic abilities. How else?

As a young tyke, I remember coming home in the summer time, after night swim (a.k.a. the summer babysitter) to find my mom watching the Montel Williams show. I was never that big of a fan of Montel. Something didn't seem quite right with him. Maybe it was his penchant for white women or maybe it was that eight ball look he was rocking. Couldn't quite get my finger on it. In any event, he couldn't hold a candle to my girl Ricki.

Once hosted a show entitled "Back Off! You're a Lesbian.."

With topics from "Black Men Who Prefer To Date White Women" (Montel) to "Cut All the Drama, You Ain't Nuthin But a Fat Hoochie Momma" or "Weave Wars II", who could resist. One of my all time favorite show titles though, has to be "Girl You Must Be Trippin'...You're Too Fat To Be Strippin'". And who could forget the doorbell? Every time you heard that doorbell ring on the Ricki Lake Show, you knew some shit was going to hit the fan. Go Ricki, Go Ricki!

I've seemed to have gotten off track. Anywho, back to Montel. I blame him for unleashing that beast onto the world. Apparently, Montel would do anything for white pussy, no matter how decrepit and dusty. Now here are some videos of Sylv at her finest.