Career Counseling

One day after work, not too long ago, I popped over to a friend's house to sit a spell and have a refreshment. A grand southern tradition to say the least. Little did I know that I had gone to a career counselor's office instead. It initially didn't start off that way but you better believe that's not how it ended up being.

I was just sitting on the couch trying to enjoy the roast of Bob Saget when my friend John decided it was time for me to get serious about my life. Then a barrage of questions came flying my way. What'd you go to school for? What do you want to do? What's your objective? What does that mean? Why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you doing that? Of course! He must have known that I prefer my Budweiser in a coozy with a heaping helping of shame on account of my living up to being most likely to succeed in Coolidge 2002. Ugh.

Like I said, this happened during Bob's roast which meant I was forced to miss Suzie Essman and Cloris Leachman dole out the insults. I love those bitches. So there I am, sitting there getting schooled on how to be an upstanding career professional and loving every excruciating moment. You have to keep a few things in mind while all of this was taking place. First, he is damn drunk. Secondly, there he was, Charleston's Lee Iaocca, giving me this big lecture on life while he is was in a speedo at 1:30 in the morning.