Mo'Nique

First, let me say that Mo'Nique is heinous!

With America's most lovable chocolate boulder recently winning an Oscar, it reminded me that I sent Mo'Nique a message via her official fan page a little over a year ago. I figured that since it stated that "yes, this message actually goes directly to Mo'Nique", it was worth my time to write. This was all spurred by that vile VH-1 with all it's quality trash television that makes us feel better about being us and not them. Need I remind you of the tragedy of New York?

that ain't yo pineapple

After watching the Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School Reunion show and seeing Gross'Nique try to step to Larissa like she was going to beat her ass, it made me want to dropkick Mo'Ni into a volcano.

notice the use of yards of gold pleather, above

That hog loves to get preachy. Ooh, that bitch gets preachy! Who that bitch needs to be preaching to is her airbrusher. Sheesh! I decided to go online and watch clips of the fight that could have been between Mo'Ni and Larissa's mom. They both looked like the before and the before picture. Humongous. So while surfing the web I came across the link to her official fan page and then decided to drop her a line. You know, one of those hey girl emails.

Mo'Nique or Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon of Lil Kim?

I basically went off on her. I had to comment on the fact that she starred in a movie called Phat Girlz and blabbering on about loving her water-globe figure but yet she's airbrushed on the cover as not to appear fat. Well, I mean, as fat. I love that the movie's tag line is "Her dreams are about to get a whole lot bigger". I don't want to know about a movie where to large Lindas find the men of their dreams. It's barely believable when a quirky young white actress finds love on film let alone a tug boat with a weave. I also went off about her TV show The Parkers starring the incorrigible Countess Vaughn as mother and daughter.

I was shocked when I never recieved a follow up email. I mean how rude! That frieghtliner didn't even have the common courtesy to at least write FUCK YOU or EAT SHIT. Nope. Nothing. That's alright though. I'll remember that.

her armpit looks like a hippo vagina

No sense in dwelling on the past but while I'm at it, what the hell happened to Raven Symone? P-U!

that's so Raven!