Friday, March 12, 2010

Momma Said...

My mom is known for her sage phrases and tantrums, at least, amongst her children. Mary-isms as we call them. Here are just a few such classics:

Damn you kids, every time I take one step forward, you push me two steps back.
Can't you see I'm on the PHONE?
Can never have anything nice with you kids!
Great, my 15 year old's pregnant! [just kidding. Sorry Reyna!]

But my all time favorite is:

The older, the dumber!
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I found out from a friend today that someone he use to date is now a stripper. Ain't nothing worse than a male stripper, gay or straight. Of course, my friend is a perturbed by this hilarious revelation. There's a fine line between retail and the strip club. It's a gateway job. You're usually one folded shirt away from pounding your genitals on the stage while an old man/lady tosses a $2 bill at you all the while thinking, Am I pretty now daddy? So, in an attempt to channel my mother, I passed on some helpful words to him that someone should have told his old flame around the time he got the birds and the bees talk.
you Fuck a stripper, you don't BE a stripper!

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