Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts

Saturday, July 10, 2010

What Church Ladies Talk About


Once, when I was in high school, my mom and I took a trip to the local Safeway grocery store and it proved to be most informative. There we were, Mary and I, strolling through the produce section en route to the dairy section when something caught my eye. To my knowledge at that time, I had never seen a Brazil nut before. So, I asked my mom and she told me the name. She stood there for a moment and mentioned that when she was a little girl they used to call them something else but couldn't think of what they were called. At that moment, my friend Bernadette and her mom walked by. Our mothers were also friends, church ladies at St. James Roman Catholic Church. Bernadette's mom leaned in and whispered to Mary NIGGER TOES and kept walking by. I could have passed out from shock. All Mary did was nod her head and walk on. Obviously neither was advocating racism but rather making a reference to the past. I think they could easily be called Mexican Toes depending on how tan Juan is.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

How Do Things Like This Happen?

How the hell did Andy Cohen get his own show? As one of my best friends pointed out to me a few months back, Andy has less personality than Terry Schiavo. When I watch him it is complete and utter torture. I mean, how do people who have fetal alcohol syndrome make it onto television? He has the personality of sea kelp. Please tell me how this happened! Is it because he's jewish? If so, my shot at television stardom is just a hop, skip and circumscion away.


It's uncanny! It's like the Parent Trap!