Daytime Television

After going to yoga yesterday, I committed myself to not spending my next morning watching a solid four hour block of Golden Girls, Price Is Right and the Young and the Restless. I can honestly say that I kept good on that commitment. I managed to squeeze a trip to the bank, household chores, reading, writing and still catch bits and pieces of all of the above mentioned TV shows. A lot of domesticities to pack in before 1:30pm on my day off.

OOPS!

Of my limited TV time today, I did manage to watch some commercials. Daytime television is filled with some incredibly awful stuff like bladder leakage commercials which are always geared towards women because grandpa never leaves a puddle here and there. If it's not that, then it's a home pregnancy test commercial with some confused woman thinking stoically off into nowhere. Baby girl should have been thinking about that before she went off to that kegger. On the plus side, Aunt Flow can take a vacation. My favorite of all these are definitely the douche commercials when the female announcer proclaims You know when your feminine care product isn't working. Yeah, you know your douche isn't working when you can smell your pussy!

IF I KNEW YOU WERE COMING I WOULD'VE FRESHENED UP!

"Me rikey"

But the most shocking thing of all occurred during "I Love Lucy". It was your typical episode, Lucy tries to make something better but somehow messes it up. Like the time she tricked Fred and Ethyl into that Ethiopian sex ring. Anywho, Lucy pretends to be Ricky's agent and tries to get MGM Studios to offer him a better contract but instead they release him from his current one. Whoops. Lucy better have some splainin' to do. So when she tells him, he slaps the shit out of her and the audience goes wild with laughter as she looks dazed and confused while he begins smashing every piece of glassware in sight. Call my a cynic but I'm pretty sure a lot of that was happening when the audience wasn't around. They should have called the show "I Beat Lucy" and then I bet she wouldn't have been begging to be in the show all the time.